God, I am freaking out. I am getting all I want and I am scared. I just discovered Abraham-Hicks and the sh*t works. I am feeling trapped by my own success of what I am seeing come into my life. People are starting to see my material, people I don’t know and have no control over who they share it with. And the people you are sending me… good God, how will I ever measure up?
Getting what you want isn’t exactly going how you though yes? It’s ok , that is the part of growing many do not talk about. It can be like giving birth to bring forth a new possibility of your reality. Usually you don’t just wake up one day and feel deserving and capable of embracing all the things you want and have not had in your life. There are reasons certain manifestations have not yet shown up in your life, reasons that can have deep emotional roots. It’s an adjustment, a process, just like life.
All you can do is keep feeling while it is happening, and you are. Your tears are cleansing your old patterns and beliefs. No one wants to cry and yet it is a natural cleanser. It is not by accident you cry. It is not a flaw. It is a natural expression of change. Physically, energetically, bio chemically, emotionally…
The one thing you can count on is that things are not as you think they are in all areas of life and the only sure thing you can do is not resist. Jesus showed you a very ultimate expression of non-resistance. That is when you realize your life is not your own, in a very real sense. Your life belongs to your true-self, not your small self and when you are ready to feel and experience the perfection of that, you give up the small self.
This can look similar to when a loved one dies. You resist, you get angry, you deny, and finally, you break and you cry and when you cry from your heart you are cleansed and what remains is the love, the truth of that person that your heart can now feel because the small self has stepped out of the way. In fact, you can never really feel the true essence of another until the small self lets go of how it sees the world. If the small self has resistance to something it sees in the outside world, it will look ugly and wrong to you. When viewed through your true self, that same set of circumstances is beautiful, illuminated and makes perfect sense just the way it is.
Now apply that to yourself. When a part of you is ready to die (transform) you resist, you get angry, you deny, and finally, you break and you cry and when you cry from your heart you are cleansed and what remains is the love, the truth of yourself that your heart can now feel because the small self has stepped out of the way. In fact, you can never really feel the true essence of yourself until the small self lets go of how it sees the world. If the small self has resistance to something it sees in itself, that part of you will look ugly and wrong to you. When viewed through your true self, that same set of circumstances is beautiful, illuminated and makes perfect sense just the way it is.
So cry Rob and let your change happen. Don’t judge yourself. It is how you come back to your body and own a larger sense of yourself when a big change happens.
You have asked to be a messenger, a facilitator of the reawakening that is happening on the planet. It is no small request so don’t be surprised that it doesn’t always play out the way you think it should. Don’t be surprise that you can’t even really understand everything you feel and everything that is happening to you. You can’t. All you can do is not resist.
Don’t resist your feelings, don’t resist saying what you know is true. “Father why have you forsaken me!” You see, even Jesus did not have full awareness and understanding at all times. And here is an even more important part. Do you see how Jesus is grieving? Do you see what he had to move through? Do you see how he expressed what was true in that moment?
And think about his 40 days in the desert. Do you think all that made perfect sense to him at all times? Who among you will go into your desert for 40 days and face all that. You do everything you can to avoid it, including spiritual practices. Jesus did not show a way around resistance, he showed the way through it. He embraced what he knew to be true in his true-self and mostly left the small self in the desert.
Giving birth is no small thing no matter the form it takes. Keep breathing, feeling, listening to your true-self. And by all means do not get upset about where you are right now or what is happening. You don’t understand it all. Just move. Keep going.
You are surrounded by assistance you cannot even see. Open to it. Feel the support of the Host that has your back, who cheer you on and who honor you more than you could know for living your physical life. Deep in your heart you know it is good.
God Dialog 5-10-2010
